


My little plaything

by tetsuskitten



Series: Being and Becoming [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Yakuza, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-19 20:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15517752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetsuskitten/pseuds/tetsuskitten
Summary: Tetsurou is a powerful head of the Japanese Mafia but he's harbouring a personal secret: a degenerative disease which is slowly blinding him. Koutarou, a rogue cop and private detective, now caught in Tetsurou's grasp, is held at one of his secluded houses under lock and key. But to what end?“Your job? Well isn’t it obvious? My little plaything.” Tetsurou lowered his voice as he called out that name.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Bookworm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Bookworm/gifts).



> I wanted to gift this work to you, @The_Bookworm, because of your shared love of Bokuroo and because it was your comment the other day that inspired me to come up with a new story for these two!

Kuroo Tetsurou is the current head of the third most powerful syndicate of organized crime working for the Yakuza. In short, he is a powerful mob boss, calling the shots for a dangerous and imposing organization. He is known for his viciousness and level-headed thinking: a strategist. He’s the one holding up the fort and the first one to die for it if need be. Inside the organization he is known to be an honorable criminal, loyal to the bone and the kind of man who is willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of the mission.

That said, lately he had been struggling with himself. This job demanded a certain loose concept of morality. A highly functioning man with certain psychopathic tendencies. But he wasn’t immune to feelings, as he would like to believe. It’s true that he wished countless times to be an actual psychopath. He knew it would make the job easier, no regrets, no weight on his consciousness whatsoever. Except it wasn’t so. He did have regrets, he did have thoughts which he carried heavily at his back. He wondered, for the first time in years, if he was wasting himself away.

Why the sudden change, though? Tetsurou had recently found out from his private doctor that he had an hereditary disease which was making him go blind. 

“What do you mean? How can I stop it?” He had asked. He had money, money can make miracles, isn’t that so?

“You can’t. This isn’t something that can be fixed. You were born with it and it will progress until one day…” The doc trailed off.

Tetsurou had left then. Didn’t storm out, didn’t show anger or any other form of sentiment. Didn’t react at all for that matter. Just walked out the door as he had came and went to the office. Took care of business as per usual. Kenma was there, as always, giving his calculated advice on how they should move, how they should act. This particular night Tetsurou had been distracted and Kenma picked up on it but didn’t mention it. It wasn’t any of his business, after all. You seldom made friends in this line of work and you sure as hell didn’t ask them about personal matters. You talked about the job and you shook hands and that was it. They were pawns in a bigger game and they had accepted that long before accepting these jobs. 

Although he concealed it, the news did faze him. It terrified him because what the hell was he supposed to do blind? He would lose his entire life, the person he was, the way he conducted himself, the job he had crawled and scratched and murdered for. All for nothing over an idiotic condition. His body rebelling against him and with it, his mind. 

He began questioning what he would do, how he would leave before he was found out. Would they let him live knowing what he knew? What use did they have for a disabled guy? At the same time, he thought that with his skills they would be better off keeping him. The loss of his eyesight wouldn’t stop him from making well thought out decisions, all he needed was someone who would inform him of what was and wasn’t since at one point he wouldn’t be able to read the reports anymore.

But who would look after him? He had no family and no one he could call close or intimate. No one he felt strongly for. How could he? If he let himself, that person’s lifespan would diminish by a great number. And you can’t attack someone with no weaknesses unless you come right for him, which his enemies did, to little or no avail. He lived in a fortress with the most skillful hitman in East Asia. The first mistake of his attackers was not hesitating twice once they saw Kenma and go directly to Tetsurou. They were gunned down at the door like miserable dogs. The perks of being invisible. Tetsurou seldom had to take out his gun anymore, which he was fine with. He had always prefered to get down and dirty when it came to killing. Such a smooth and quick death, how boring. 

This is why, when he found a sneaky mouse running around his territory, he made sure to trap him and cage him real good because he was in need of a fun time, a relaxing activity, as it were, to unwind and what not.

Bokuto Koutarou, as he soon found out, was a private investigator. A cop who went rogue years ago and worked solo after trying to steal a great amount of money from a high profile case he worked on but was never arrested. The story was wrapped in tight veils but nothing was secret to a man like Tetsurou. And that’s how he found out just how connected this guy was. He worked on the side for the meanest sons of bitches in the country, the real ones, the politics and law workers who bent the rules at their will and pestered this society with a rotten stench. Tetsurou believed vehemently that these people were the ones to execute if the world was ever going to make a turn for the better. No need kidding oneself. He might be a killer, but these guys were much worse than that: they were the mass murderers who never touched a single drop of blood. That way they could go home at night to their wives and some irritating brat they put up with just to get that warm body next to them every night, and pretend they were guiltless. They could look at themselves in the mirror, look down at their hands and see no dirty spots on them. No nightmares chased them across the night. No terror clouded their minds as they gave the fatal order. Tetsurou despised this kind of man, therefore he had to wonder what kind of man would ever accept to work for a monster like that.

And he was truly curious. That’s why he broke his own rules to get Koutarou a place in one of his secluded houses, left his second in command in charge on the excuse of bigger and more important business that needed to be carried out and spent the next weeks trying to break the pretty thing he had under lock and key.

Now, he wasn’t too demanding when it came to satisfying those gnawing needs of the body. He could get whatever he wanted from whoever he wanted, but he hadn’t had a real challenge in a while and this guy… This guy he wanted to break. To see him bloody and savage and thirsty for a bite of his attackers head. At the same time, he wanted to know what moved him, his convictions, his fears, the why of the who and he would stop at nothing to get him. He would be able to coerce him one way or another if he could just find out what made him tick or what it took to lure him in. A corrupt cop, surely he would bend beautifully for him. 

“Come work for me. That’s my offer.”

“A job for a soul? I won’t make deals with demons who lurk in the night.”

“How poetic of you.” Tetsurou clapped sarcastically. “Why won’t you recite me some more with that pretty mouth of yours?”

The other went quiet at that. Doing the exact opposite of what he was told, what a wild one he was. A wild stallion. It could take some time but eventually, they would all let themselves be ridden into submission.

More than anything, Tetsurou’s move was a display of power. He would let Koutarou roam about, his house being impossible to penetrate from the outside and only he held the key to escape outside. He took the measures to make it so. Therefore, he didn’t have to worry about an escape. Of course, there were objects inside which could be used as weapons but why would the detective fight him? Unless he had a death wish that is. He was aware of who Tetsurou was, as he should, therefore he knew as well that one wrong move could send him into an early grave. Not that it mattered much, what was he leaving behind? But still, he didn’t feel like dying just yet. 

Tetsurou would spend his time teasing him, talking to him. Sometimes he would answer, others he would go radio silent. Tetsurou didn’t push and he was honestly confused but he figured if this was his strategy it was weak and would never work. He would keep him here like a caged animal but at least he was clothed and well fed. _Beats prison_ , he thought. He wasn’t being tortured, maimed, threatened. What did he have to fear? For some reason he thought that there must be a reason he was still alive. That this was the guy who caught him and not someone else who would have undoubtedly pulled the trigger on him the second they had caught him. He thought maybe he was born under a lucky star, after all. But still, he was human and curious. What was the deal with this guy? His behavior was nonsensical. He felt more like a pet than a prisoner. He felt as if he was being played with. He entertained the thought of playing his game. If he couldn’t escape what else was he going to do?

“What would be the job?” He asked. The sudden outburst made Tetsurou look up from his book and examine him as he chewed over an answer.

“Your job? Well isn’t it obvious? My little plaything.” Tetsurou lowered his voice as he called out that name.  _ My little plaything. _ Koutarou wanted to be angry. Wanted to ignore the spark of heat that crawled through him at hearing those words. Wanted to spit out curse names at his captor. Yet, what he did surprised himself and even the man sitting calmly on the couch.

“What does your plaything have to do?” He questioned.

Tetsurou smirked.  _ You really want to play this game, uh?  _ He thought to himself.  _ How very brave of you. _

“Come.” Tetsurou commanded and Koutarou’s feet started walking towards him.  _ Am I possessed, hypnotized?, _ Koutarou wondered,  _ what am I doing playing along to this mad man’s game? _

“Now, sit here.” Tetsurou said, patting his thigh and sending a challenging look up at the other man. It seemed to read a fierce  _ you will never do it _ . So Koutarou did as asked of him, with a little added twist of his own. Straddling the man instead of sitting as commanded.

“Who do you think I am? Your wife?” He spitted out, trying to rile the other up. It was a small gesture but it was like saying: even if I do what you tell me to do, I’m still doing what I want. Just because you’re powerful doesn’t mean I’m powerless.

Tetsurou raised an eyebrow, the only sign of a real reaction. Slowly, he put the bookmark back on the page he was reading and placed the book next to them on the grey couch.

“No.” Tetsurou’s powerful voice spoke in the quiet of the apartment. “If you were, you’d be on your knees like a good boy. But instead… you’re going off script like the untamed animal you are.”   
Koutarou couldn’t think fast enough for a response and he was suddenly being pushed off of the other man’s lap. Tetsurou then turned his back to him and walked away, took his long overcoat of the rack, unlocked the door, left and locked it again from the outside. No goodbyes, no explanations. 

_ My little plaything _ , he had said.  _ That’s how he sees me _ , Koutarou thought, before picking up the book left behind and deciding to entertain himself for a while. 


	2. Chapter 2

When Koutarou awoke the next morning, he found himself still on the big grey couch, only now he didn’t have the book on him anymore (it was sitting on the glass coffee table, he noticed) and he was covered by a white fluffy blanket. He traced his hand over the smoothness of it before pulling it off and walking himself to the bathroom to wash his face with fresh water. As he did so and looked in the mirror, he wondered why a man like Tetsurou would do these gentle things for a stranger. He had the right to be suspicious. Violence would be standard, but gentleness? How did that make sense? Was Tetsurou luring him into a fake sense of comfort and safety? See, because that made more sense but it still felt like such a far-fetched theory. What was the point? 

He walked around the house before going to the kitchen, just to make sure he was alone. He looked around for food to make breakfast with and noticed how full everything was. He had bread in the bread box, in the refrigerator all kinds of things: milk, juice, fresh water too. He had butter and jam… In short, he was being taken care of the right way and this only put him more on edge. He couldn’t understand. And whenever he tried to get a feel for Tetsurou, it was like trying to grab a very slippery piece of soap that kept sliding off his hand. He couldn’t get a grip. He couldn’t read him, at all. 

At moments, Tetsurou was taking an interest in him, pulling him closer and in others he pushed away. So Koutarou wondered then if the other wasn’t a bit lost himself and that’s why his behaviour was erratic. But if that was so, what was the cause for it? Koutarou wanted to find out and it shouldn’t be too hard, his job was finding things after all. He combed through the house, sniffing out any bit of information that would make things clearer for him. In Tetsurou’s room he found nothing but clothes and a pair of glasses stored in a drawer. He didn’t know the other wore glasses, he’d never seen him wearing them. He tried to imagine it in his head and was willing to admit he would look quite sophisticated with this particular model. He examined them closer. Put them on to try to understand what they were for. He concluded they were to help see things which were near. He kept digging around but that was about the only thing of notice in the entire apartment and even that didn’t say much. So the guy needed reading glasses, what of it?

Later that evening, Koutarou had rummaged through the kitchen to find enough ingredients to cook something for dinner. He was delighted to find a juicy steak in the refrigerator. He decided to prepare it so it would be good to cook tomorrow and then settled on making a fried rice dish with a veggie mix. Since he lived alone, he had taken up cooking as a relaxing type of activity. When he wasn’t on the job, he was either working out or making himself some food. The internet was a great source for dynamic recipes and he was a bit dismayed that he wasn’t allowed access to it here but none the matter, he would just have to cook from memory.

He was adding the cooked rice to the vegetable mix currently cooking in oil when Tetsurou arrived in the kitchen. If he was surprised to see the other cooking, he didn’t mention it. He had of course a different approach. 

“Are you trying to get on my good side, after all?” Tetsurou whispered in Koutarou’s ear, who had been focused on what he was doing and hadn’t noticed the other come in, too soft footsteps taking him by surprise. But the hand Tetsurou had slipped onto his waist, that he did notice.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” He fired, pushing that hand away forcefully.

“Well aren’t we stingy tonight.” Tetsurou remarked as he made his way to sit on a stool next to the kitchen island. “I trust you’re making enough for two.”

Koutarou didn’t answer and kept cooking the meal instead. Tetsurou sat there observing him, delighted by the scent of the food. He couldn’t remember having a home cooked meal. People like him didn’t usually get those kinds of pleasantries. 

When the white haired man was finished, he took out two plates and served them both. He still hadn’t said a word. He placed the plates down and grabbed the cutlery while Tetsurou got up and took a bottle of wine from a wooden cabinet in the living room.

“I hope you like port.” Tetsurou said, coming in once again, grabbing two wine glasses from the kitchen cabinet and serving them both a cup. He drank his first cup and soon was downing his second and then he finally took a bite out of his food. It was delicious and he savored it thoroughly.  _ What a nice surprise _ , he thought.

They ate in silence, not uncomfortable but rather distrustful. Talking was a surefire way to give something away and neither were interested in that. Interested in knowing of the other yes, but not of letting themselves be known.

They downed the entire wine bottle, savouring it like drought victims. Nothing better than a good tasting wine. It left a velvety burn in their throats, a comfortable buzz all over their skin. When they were done, Tetsurou took their plates and glasses to the sink.

“Leave it for tomorrow. Come with me.” He spoke and out of sheer curiosity, Koutarou followed him. He spotted a big box standing in the living room and looked at Tetsurou for an explanation.

“Go ahead, open it.” A bit hesitant, Koutarou walked up to it. It was already open for him and he looked inside. Looking through it, he realized these were all his things. Clothes and books and other things he kept at home.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked, confusion clouding his voice.

“I want you to feel at home here.” Tetsurou answered, too sincerely for his own liking. He was growing some type of fondness for this man and as dangerous as it was, he felt he had little to lose each day that passed. 

“You could just let me go.” The other said, still crouched over the box on the floor.

“Why? Who’s missing you?” Although Tetsurou didn’t intend to be harsh, this statement struck a nerve in Koutarou. It was true that he was alone. It was true that no one was out there looking for him. It was true nobody needed him for anything except the dirty things they couldn't do themselves.

“Just kill me then and get it over with.” He rasped out bitterly.

“I won’t be doing that either.”

“Are you so desperately lonely that you have to keep your company caged in like animals? That’s pretty sad of you. I guess I’m not the only one who society has no use for.”

“Been a long time since I don’t belong to society. If you think that bothers me in the least then well…”

“What bothers you then?” Koutarou came directly at him, standing up now, eyes locked on the other's. Tetsurou smiled languidly at the question. How he liked to see this one all riled up. Koutarou, however, didn’t find it so funny. He took long strides over to the other man and grabbed him by the collar.

“What’s so funny?” He fired, warm breath ghosting over Tetsurou’s lips.

“How that wine is really firing you up. Looks like you’re itching for a fight.” He said, deliberately slowly. “Or maybe you have another kind of itch.” Tetsurou said, cupping Koutarou’s junk to get his point across.

Koutarou immediately pushed him away. “You son of a bitch!”

“Now now, kitten, don’t you think you’re getting carried away? You’re the one who came on to me just yesterday.” Tetsurou pointed out with a sly smile splattered across his face. Koutarou could clearly imagine him with a pair of devilish horns and a bifurcated tongue. Something visual to match those provoking words he kept aiming right at the detective.

With no other option, Koutarou stormed off to his room, slamming the door as hard as he could.

“I guess that’s that for today.” Tetsurou muttered to himself before going back out the front door.

  
  
  


The next day came and Tetsurou brought home some fresh ingredients just for his stay at home boy toy and with them a little gift.

As expected, the other was awake and entertaining himself with the tv. Upon arrival, Tetsurou turned it off.

“I have a little something for you. Get up.” 

“Why should I?”

“Don’t be difficult.” 

Tetsurou grabbed the grocery bags and brought them to the kitchen, placing them on the kitchen counter. He motioned for Koutarou to have a look at what he brought, that way swiftly distracting him so he could put the apron on him. Koutarou was surprised by something going over his head and then he was forcefully pushed backwards by Tetsurou, who was tying up the apron in a perfect bow. Koutarou looked down at himself.

“What the hell is this?!” He demanded, turning around to face an amused Tetsurou. For the first time, Koutarou heard the other laugh. It was a loud and boisterous sound, so ridiculous he almost wanted to laugh along with him.

_ Trophy husband _ , it read.

“You see, I thought it was only appropriate after you cooked us such a lovely meal yesterday.” Tetsurou informed, a joyful smile still on his face. 

Koutarou took it off as fast as he could, fiddling with the tight knotted bow, getting immensely rilled up. So much, Tetsurou actually laughed some more and offered to help him with it.

“To hell with you!” Koutarou screamed, pointing his finger at Tetsurou’s face of absolute delight. Koutarou ended up shimmying out of it, taking it off through his legs and throwing it immediately at Tetsurou’s face. 

“I take it you liked it, yes?” Tetsurou shouted after him, feeling light as a feather after the whole episode. 

When was the last time he laughed as genuinely as that? Again, he couldn’t remember. This guy was providing him with long lost experiences and he couldn’t feign a disinterest in them. These semi-normal experiences inside the domesticity of a home. Was this what it was like to have someone? Was this what normal people did (minus the kidnapping and imprisonment)? If it was and if he was going blind anyway and about to lose what he had known his entire life...he might as well build something new for himself. Something he could enjoy even after his entire world was plunged into darkness. 


	3. Chapter 3

There is a funny thing about life, you see. Despite living like a worm, underground and hidden in the dirt, Tetsurou still had hawk eyes that spied his every move. And the sudden change in routine had made these all attentive animals stir in their perch.

Why was the head of one of the most vicious mafia families in the world, all of a sudden breaking his set in stone habits? It wasn’t rare to see him leave the headquarters but lately he had been doing this more often. He took great measures to make sure his enemies wouldn’t find this particular safe house which is why it was an apartment inside a fourty apartment skyscraper. Even if he was followed there, it was impossible to know from inside where he went next. 

However, his enemies knew they didn’t need to go inside to make their move. The window of opportunity was narrow: it was the time it took for Tetsurou to climb  out of the car and inside the building. A skillful sniper and the right angled perch could be the break they needed to take out Tetsurou and disrupt the hierarchy. Even though the organization was always ready for replacements, the truth is that there were particular leaders for a reason. They were the ones with cold blood thinking and the guts to act out a plan with flawless precision. The helpers were the body of the operation, but what was an operation without the mind?

And even though Tetsurou's attackers thought out a great plan, almost infallible, there are always tiny things you can’t predict. Things such as Fate itself.

 

 

Tetsurou drove himself to the hideout as he had been doing as of late. The less people knew about this place the better it was. He had been keeping his secret pet under tight wraps and he wished for no one to find out, lest they get the idea of hurting him. That’s why he was an unsuspecting victim when a shot from above hit his head. He fell to the ground, immediately blacking out. Blood began pooling beneath his head and his attackers, thinking him dead, left him there to bleed out. He came into counscioness again after a few minutes, a loud ringing sound in his ears and all he could think to do was drag himself to the building door, but as he was putting the key in the keyhole, he blacked out again. When he regained his bearings once again he tried to work as fast as he could as this incessant pounding in his ears kept drumming like a omnious orchestra playing inside his brain. 

What people didn’t know about him was that he hated riding elevators and when he purchased this house, he had decided he would stay on the ground floor. And that might just be what saves him from this sudden calamity. He manages to crawl up the entrance steps but without enough energy to open another door, he slips the key under the slit and knocks as hard as he can with the little strength he has left and hopes the man on the other side hears it, looks down to see the tiny key and opens the door and that he takes enough pity on him to save his life instead of running of and leaving him here to die.

When Koutarou hears soft knocks on the door he is incredibly suspicious. Who would knock in the door? How would he even let them in without a key? But for the sake of investigating, he walked over to the door. He looked down and saw red pooling under the door and a metal object soaked in it. When he fished it out he realized it was a key. _Why is it covered in blood?_ He wondered. But moved quickly to fit it into the lock. The engine moved. It worked. He was free.

Except when he opened the door, there was Tetsurou. Unconscious and soaked in blood which was oozing out of a head wound. Koutarou was at first paralyzed. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Getting a hold of himself, he looked for Tetsurou’s phone. He wouldn’t be so callous as to not call 911. When it rang, he realized he had no idea where he was, so he went outside and looked for an indicator, a street name. When someone finally picked up he gave them the information. Instead of leaving, he went back over to Tetsurou’s body. He checked for a pulse. He was still alive. 

Koutarou was truly unsure of what to do. These past few weeks… he didn’t have the word to explain them. Tetsurou kept teasing him everyday but he wasn’t as uptight as before. He started letting go of himself. And without realizing, Koutarou had started doing the same. If he forgot that he was stuck in that place, he could actually enjoy himself and he thought he might be temporarily insane to think that was so but still, Tetsurou treated him well and he couldn’t just let a man who did him no harm die like a dog.

He heard sirens getting closer and thought he had to get the hell out of there but, for some reason, he stayed put. His hand didn’t leave Tetsurou’s neck, feeling his weak pulse, how his heart was struggling to pump blood. The medics came in with a stretcher and immediatly started to take care of everything. Then someone asked him if he was coming with and he said yes unthinkingly. He made sure to stay out of the paramedics way as they worked on Tetsurou and talked to each other hurriedly. When they got to the hospital, they informed him they would have to take Tetsurou into surgery and for him to stay in the waiting room.

Again, he thought about leaving. Going back to his home. His home which didn’t have his things anymore. His home that didn’t make him feel welcome at all. He stayed there, head burried in his hands, completely lost. He looked around the room at these normal faces and wondered about their ordinary lives. He wondered if Tetsurou was going to make it. How he was too weak to keep him anymore. Where was he going to go now?

A doctor approached him.

“Your husband will pull through. Unfortunately, the wound he suffered accelerated the action of his disease. He won’t be able to see for much longer. We think it would be best if he heard this from a loved one rather than a stranger.”

When she was finished talking, Koutarou’s mind was reeling. Tetsurou is going blind? Is that why he is a criminal acting so strangely amicable? And what the hell was he going to do? This lady thought they were married. He was no loved one. He was sure there were no loved ones in Tetsurou’s life. But there was still something that pushed him to stay.

“Can I see him?” He asked. 

“I will call for you when he wakes up.”

He had the option to get out of here and never hear of this guy again. But...what else did he have in his life that was worth doing? Certainly not the job he had fallen into, which seemed to swallow him like a bad dream. And then this guy had caught and imprisoned him in that luxurious house and kept him well fed and brought him his personal belongings and went as far as bringing him gifts. He teased him and joked around. The only actual bad thing the other had done was keep him somewhere against his will. And he couldn’t pull another reason out of his own mind. And he didn’t want to leave him here alone because…

Because if it were him lying there, he wouldn’t want to be alone either and also, because he thought that if the roles were reversed, that guy would definitely not leave him. Those were the reasons he gave himself to justify the fact that he didn’t correct the doctor when she mistook him for his husband and for staying here with him.

At the end of the afternoon, he was finally called in.

“You look like shit.” He said and Tetsurou’s lips twitched. The man had a bandage wrapped all around his head, but other than that he was exactly the same. One clean shot, but they couldn’t kill him. “You’re a lucky bastard you know that?”

“Why are you still here?” Tetsurou asked. 

“The doctors wanted me to tell you that you’ll be blind soon.” Koutarou answered, going straight to the important point, the thing Tetsurou should know right off the bat.

“How surprising.” Tetsurou managed to say, still being sarcastic even though he felt so weak. In truth, it wasn’t surprising at all. He had researched his disease and knew the steps to the final blow. When he awoke again, he realized he could only see in the center, like looking through a telescope. Tunnel vision. It wouldn’t be much longer until it all became black as night. So those news really weren’t all that new to him. He was more curious about why the other had stayed, the  _ real  _ reason.

But of course, Koutarou didn’t disclose that information. He just sat on the chair next to his hospital bed, watching the show on the tiny television on the wall, eating the bright red jello on the cup sitting on the table. 

Tetsurou watched him quietly and wondered how he’d gotten himself into this situation. Who was this guy to him, after all?


	4. Chapter 4

Tetsurou woke up in the morning to a dull ache in his brain. A strong smell of coffee filled his hospital room. He blinked away his haziness and tried, at the same time, to blink away the darkness that was sinking into the crevices of his field of vision, but to no avail. He turned his head to the side where the detective had fallen asleep last night and there he was, awake now, sipping coffee from a mug, eyes hawk like glued to the TV. He had such big eyes, very bright, Tetsurou noted. He'd remember that brightness, he'd do his best to not let the memories fade away.

Then a doctor came in with a few sheets of paper and Koutarou turned his attention to her, nodding at her and taking the papers into his own hands. Tetsurou witnessed all of this as if he was a fly in the wall, the ringing in his ears made the sound from their voices fade into an almost inaudible chatter. The doctor came up to give him another those of medicine and then left them with each other.

He felt a hand touch his arm. It was Koutarou, trying to get his attention. He was mouthing something. Wait- no, he was talking to him but he just couldn’t make out the sounds. He thought that maybe his hearing was shot too. Great, just what he needed. To be even more useless.

“I can’t hear you.” He said to the other, who stopped talking. Koutarou made a gesture with his hand for him to wait and disappeared out the door. When he came back he was holding a block of paper and a pencil.

He wrote down: _Paperwork - we have to fill it_

He showed it to Tetsurou and waved the papers at him for good measure. Tetsurou nodded in understanding.

Koutarou tore the page and scribbled something else.

_They think we’re married_

Tetsurou shrugged. “I don’t mind. But we have to give them false information. Nobody can know I’m alive. When they let me get out of here, I plan on getting out of the country.”

Tetsurou watched Koutarou’s face for his reactions. He seemed a bit surprised at the last statement and began scribbling again. But then he crossed it out, tore the page and tossed it and wrote something else.

_I’m coming with_

He had initially written _How are you gonna make it on your own_ but he’d rather not make the other man feel helpless. He figured he’d end up going anyway, maybe the guy would ask him to come, maybe not. But this way, he thought, he was in control of the situation. He decided to go of his own volition. And maybe, the truth was, that he didn’t want to imagine himself staying here and continuing his nonsensical life of fighting the bad fight while the other was out there somewhere, maybe all alone and in the dark, with no hand to cling to. He probably had the money to hire someone to take care of him but that was so degrading, to admit his weakness. He’d do him this one favor, he’d stick with him. It wouldn’t be so bad. He’d get a job somewhere, they would live somewhere inconspicuous, they wouldn’t attract the attention of others. They would stay in their own little bubble. He’d cook for them and Tetsurou would read...until he couldn’t anymore. Then maybe he would read to him. He didn’t have the best reading voice but he could give it a try. He thought about the apron Tetsurou had gotten and how he couldn’t get it back now. He wondered how much time it would take for him to get out of this hospital. How long until his sight gave out. How long until he figured out why he was still here.

  
  


It was only three months later that Tetsurou was aloud to finally leave. His hearing had thankfully come back and his headaches had gotten considerably less intense. Koutarou had been taking care of their trip, scheduled for the day of Tetsurou’s release. The were to make haste, it was dangerous for him to be seen outside, walking around perfectly alive.

They had discussed their place of choice at length, until they both decided that Hawaii was both close, beautiful and a perfectly good place to never come back from. They boarded the plane that afternoon and Tetsurou fell rapidly asleep after lift-off, already dreaming of being lulled to sleep in a hammock, of being sun-drunk, hazy and sleepy with margaritas and piña coladas, of making love on the wet sand as the waves lap at their feet, of seeing bright eyes and getting lost inside the eye of a storm. He woke up from this feeling whirly, much like he imagined a hurricane would feel like when it spun and spun and spun.

When they arrived they got themselves a cheap hotel room. They would go house hunting in the morning, but for now they would eat something and rest. They were sitting at the table, talking like an ordinary couple.

“Doesn’t it feel weird?” Koutarou asked. “To act like we’re just...ordinary people?”

“Are we that extraordinary, do you think?”

“I suppose we’re not. I just never felt so...at ease, I guess.”

“You’re thinking you’ll miss the old you.”

“I’m not sure that’s it.”

“What is it, then?”

“It isn’t just me. It’s you. You act so cool about all this. Like you weren’t a cold blooded murderer a few months ago.”

“Killers enjoy a good meal and the sun and the ocean too. Killers enjoy good company such as yourself. Do you feel uneasy with me?”

“Not really. You’ve become kind of a...everyday thing.”

“Glad to hear it.”

Tetsurou sipped the remnants of his sweet drink and got up to go to the bathroom. When he came back he saw the check and the money which was already placed there. He looked around the room and found Koutarou leaning against the threshold of the open glass doors which led down to the beach. Tetsurou walked over and placed a hand on the small of the detective’s back.

“How about a walk?”

Koutarou nodded, asked him to wait a bit, went to the bar and came back with a bottle of booze and two glasses.

“To our new life.” He said, raising the booze in his right hand.

They walked down to the beach and watched the sun fade to orange and red and then blue set in, the moon was glowing and the stars here had so much light, they made the sky look as if it were pulsating and alive. They drank and drank until the bottle was empty. Drunk and lulled by the sea, they fell asleep in the sand, a quiet torpor licking their minds clean of who they were before landing in Paradise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it comes to a nice end here but I also think it would be nice to maybe continue their life in the island? What do you think?


End file.
